Guess I couldn’t stay away forever

Or maybe I just wanted some human company aside from the people who are following me.

I don’t know if they think I’m too stupid to notice them or if they just don’t care if I do or if they actually want me to. Either way, they haven’t done anything other than follow me so far. I’m hoping that they don’t decide to change that while I’m writing this. 

I’m going to guess that they’re proxies. At least I hope that they are. I never thought I’d say that but it’s true. I really don’t want to have to deal with other Fears or their servants and I think other runners are just as likely to try to kill me because of Stitch.

Speaking of proxies, I wonder what happened to daddy longlegs himself. I haven’t seen him since I left the cabin. It was probably a good decision to go rather than stay but I still miss Fell and Hart. 

At least I’m not completely alone. Stitch talks to me every now and then, when I need it. It wraps around me like a blanket whenever I need to sleep. It wanted to stay at the cabin, but despite that, it still keeps me warm and makes me feel a little better which makes the alleys, basements and bridges easier to take.  

I still need to feed the hunger, but I’ve been able to do that with my own blood. I guess that plan is working better now that there is no one around to stop me. Isn’t that right Father Brien? hehehe I hate you and I’m glad you’re dead you fucking bastard

Other than that, I’ve just been trying to live while trying to figure out what the next step is. I’ve been haunting the local libraries when I can; reading up on necessities as well as learning about things that interest me. Did you guys know that Japanese honeybees can kill invading hornets by letting them into the hive, surrounding them and producing enough heat to cook them? Did you know that there is a type of fungus called cordyceps that sends out spores that infect ants and makes them climb a plant and attach themselves? When they die, the fungus grows out of the body, releases the spores and the whole thing starts over again.

That’s all for now I guess. My coffee and sandwich are finished and the guy at the cash looks like he’s getting ready to kick me out. I don’t want to spend more money just to stay on here a bit longer. Assuming the people who are following me don’t decide to attack when I leave, maybe I’ll see if I can find an unprotected network or something 

We kept the door shut

because we wanted to help and we were worried about her. If you read Fell’s post than you already know what happened. I remember hearing the screams. I thought I could handle it but then came the screams from my nightmares. I tried not to but I started to panic. And then there was a man with me. He was bleeding and scared. I think he must have managed to squeeze out through a window. He was calling for help. I just reacted. Stitch stuck right through him. I felt Stitch’s joy. It felt good and I let it spread. I was splattered with his blood as Stitch came back to me. The next thing I remember is being somewhere else with Hart yelling at Fell and everything going dark. There was a voice in the darkness. It was not Stitch, but KnitWolf. She told me that she was sorry for this and that it would be the last time she would interfere with me. She just wanted to make sure Fell was okay. I’m guessing that she had used me for those weird posts as well. She told me that it was time to learn and grow as I saw fit, whether I wanted to stay with them or go it alone. I woke up in the cabin with a splitting headache.

I need to leave. I don’t want this to happen again, I don’t want to feel that sick joy again. Fell and Hart are okay, so I don’t have to worry about them, if I ever did. I don’t know anymore, it might just have been Stitch or KnitWolf.

No, that’s not true. I was worried. I'm just upset, but still
 

I know I’m stuck with Stitch no matter what, but maybe if I’m on my own and away from the Slender Man’s territory. Maybe it will be better

He keeps looking at me

like he is confused somehow

I used to call him the devil. I believed he was.

Now… I don’t know what to think of him. He hasn’t hurt me since I got here

He just keeps watching. Maybe he’s wondering what to think of me. Wondering what I’m going to do.

I’m not a proxy. I don't think of myself as one anyway. I am not doing anything for his sake but I do want to stay here for now and make sure that Fell and Hart are okay. That's why I'm going on the next mission. 

Fell has been training me along with Hart. She pushes me a lot harder but I’d rather deal with that than be worried that she's going to drink herself to death. She’s even started hanging out with me. We have been watching My Little Pony together.

Aside from training, Hart has been teaching me how to make things by melting perler beads together. He says that I should take the time to develop some more hobbies while I can. I didn’t really have much opportunity for that when I was with Father Brien and the others, though I was able to play chess every now and then.

Anyway, we made this

 

It’s Rainbow Dash. I wanted to do something that I thought Fell might like and she had said that Rainbow Dash is her favorite pony. She smiled and thanked us for it, but her eyes looked sad

She may be better than she was, but I know that something isn’t right. Stitch knows it too. She still hasn’t talked to me or Hart except to apologize

Maybe it’s weird for me to be worried about her, but, what happened really shattered my perception of everything being so clear cut. The ones I trusted tried to kill me while the ones I thought of as enemies saved my life.  

We both knew

that things were getting worse with Fell. We could hear her drunkenly mumbling to herself and crying in her room when she made that post. When Hart heard a crash he tried to get in to help but she wouldn’t let him. He typed a few things to her and then told me to hide in his room because he was going to try to make her mad enough to come out and fight and he didn’t want me getting involved.

So I did as he said. His room was the complete opposite of how he keeps the rest of the cabin. It was a mess and there was glass on the floor from a broken mirror. I was scared but I stayed quiet, listening in case things got worse. I felt Stitch come out and start to wrap around me like a blanket. It freaked me out even worse at first but I soon got the impression that it was just trying to comfort me and in spite of myself I did start to feel a bit better with it there. I know I’m too old to be needing a security blanket but it still felt good. I must have actually started to drift off because I jolted awake at another series of crashes. I peeked out of the room to see Hart, bleeding on the floor and Fell getting ready to hit him again. He spat blood as he told her that she was a coward, running out on people who care about her just like Josh. Fell stumbled back at this. I could hear her hit a wall then slide down. Hart sat up, glaring at her but then he started to cry. Stitch went back as I came out of the room and I asked if there was anything I could do to help. When he realized I was there he quickly dried his eyes like he was trying to hide that he was upset and told me he was fine. He struggled to his feet then checked Fell who was passed out. Then he told me to go back to bed but I wouldn’t. I didn’t want to leave him like that, so after he cleaned himself up, he got me to help him get rid of Fell’s stash of alcohol and clean up her room. Hart’s room was a mess but Fell’s room was… weird. Aside from the stuff that she had apparently knocked over, and the blankets on the floor where she had been sleeping, the room had a layer of dust on it like it hadn’t been used in a while. We changed the sheets on her bed and dusted the rest of the room. Then I helped Hart put her to bed. Afterwards he said I should go to bed too but I said no. I wanted to stay with him to make sure he was okay. So we sat on the couch together for a while, neither saying anything until I asked for a hug. I just thought he could use one but I didn’t think he would accept if I said as much.

Fell has since come out of her room, but she won’t look at or talk to either of us.  

Every time

I fall asleep I still have nightmares about that night- that ugly creature coming through Father Brien and how awful it felt. I see their horrible bleeding eyes and I wake up with hymns in my head and I hate it. I used to love those songs but they make me feel sick now. My head hurts and it’s not helping that Fell and Hart keep fighting. Fell looks really sick and only leaves her room to do her job or get supplies. Hart looks tired.

I’m still trying to figure out what to do. Part of me says I should leave the next time we head out for supplies. I know Fell only sees Father Brien and the others when she looks at me. Maybe it’s for the best. But on the other hand, Stitch says I’m where I need to be right now. It’s quieter here. Happier. I don’t know if I should listen to it but it wasn’t lying to me before and it is nice to have that little bit of peace in my head.

Hart is training me while I’m here which is making me feel useful and keeps me from replaying what happened with Father Brien and the others in my mind while I’m awake. I keep thinking that I should have yelled and screamed and kicked every time my parents tried to bring me to that church, maybe then they would have given up and we could have gone to another one at least, maybe avoid all this. They can’t all be like this but maybe they are. If not then maybe I could have convinced Lacey. Or after Stitch started talking to me I should have grabbed some of the others and dragged them out. Save someone at least. Stitch says they couldn’t be saved. Stitch says it wasn’t my fault what happened to them. Stitch is being nice. Hart is being nice. Father Brien was being nice up until he locked me away and tried to kill me- I know I would have died if KnitWolf hadn’t been there - and he was like a father to me after he got my family killed. No maybe that’s wrong. I believed the lie too but I was wrong, so maybe it was the same for him.

Everyones dead

It was all a lie it wasn’t god there is no god just monsters and worse monsters

They brought me to the church and held me down on the altar and started the eighthsacrament and it started to come thru. I felt like I was burning from the inside out and felt like I was dying and Stitch was screaming an I cried and begged them to stop  because it hurt so bad but they acted like they couldn’t here and the pain got worse and it started to come thru Father Brien and it was so ugly and gross and it looked like it was boiling but everyone was chanting and smiling and looking at it thru bleeding eyes like it was beautiful. Then the screams

It was like a nightmare KnitWolf was there and she was killing everyone in the church The ones who were chanting around me kept going like they didn’t notice. Between them I could see some of what she was doing. Some of the others tried to fight but she killed them. Some tried to run but they weren’t fast enough. All the kids were in the church because it was supposed to be safer they weren’t spared They all wer stabbed decapitated cut in half as she got closer the ones who were around me didn’t react til she started killing them and then it was too late She looked at me as she killed the ones holding me down but she didn’t hurt me. I rolled off the altar and landed on the floor and started to crawl I wanted to run but I was in to much pain it got worse as the monster got mad about her killing them

I looked back to se it had her but she was stabbing it and Father Brien with the tentacles. More and more of them came out of her as the monster burned her and burned the tentacles there were dark patches spreading where she stabbed it and then there was a knife in my baxk and I was being cursed for bringing the demon here.

Stitch stabbed thru her like Skein had done to the others. She was still alive tho but I just got so mad because I had tried to leave I had hurt myself to keep in control and keep them safe and they hurt me and she hurt me and my family was dead for the lies and I bit and stabbed her again and again Her name was Jane and she must have been hiding between the pews She should have kept hiding because I didn’t stop until Skein wrapped around me and threw me towards Fell and Hart as KnitWolf yelled at them to take me and run I don’t kno when they got there but my landing knocked them back Hart picked me up and the next thing I remember is sitting on a cot with Hart asking me if I wanted anything or if there was anything he could do. I’m here in KnitWolf’s home with Fell and Hart. Were the only ones who made it out. I asked Hart about Peter. He died to. I asked Hart why I was still alive. He told me that KnitWolf wanted me to live.

I can still smell the blood on me I can still heare there screams. Maybe that’s why she didn’t kill me. She wanted to keep her promise. She wanted me to suffer with the memory of ther suffering

Maybe Jane was right. Stitch says it would have happened anyway but maybe she was right

I don’t know anymore

Despite the horrific wishes expressed in the comments of young Laura's post, she will not be harming anyone here or doing further damage to herself. We have bound her for her own good. She had bitten her arms terribly and fought fiercely when we tried to prevent her from committing more acts of self-mutilation.

Her affliction has not been an easy thing to deal with for any of us.

 

We had attempted offer her some comfort by giving her a computer with which to occupy her mind. She should not have been able to access the blog to talk to you all, but she apparently figured out how to remove the block that another member of our group had put up. I am disappointed, but I must remind myself that she is being influenced by the demon.    

It is difficult to hear her suffering. Her screaming has been near ceaseless since we bound her. We are all thankful that it will be at an end tonight

Help

They won’t let me out they wont let me cut I need to cut hungry the voice in my head so loud it hurts please god help me im coming apart they wont listen I don’t want to hurt them but I cant I cant I cant I cant I cant iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

Hurt so bad hurts so bad in my head lies stop stop stop shut up SHUTUP

I have been blind

As I am sure you are all aware, young Laura is now a host to a demon.

I did not want to believe you or her. I did not want to think that it could be true, but she was caught in the act of cutting her own flesh. Her blood was black.

I see the truth now. I know that vile whore KnitWolf has been here somehow and has infected the child.

Laura is now locked in a room, without anything with which to cut herself. The window is boarded and the room is guarded. Truly, I wish there was some other way, but we must keep her like this for her safety as well as ours.

Soon we will call to the Lord our God as He has commanded. On that day, she will be cleansed and her soul will be saved. 

ENOUGH

Young Laura attempted to run away after most of us had retired for the night. Fortunately she was seen and brought back to the safety of our home before the devil appeared. I was roused from sleep by the yelling and rushed out to see what was happening. Once again I lead my flock in prayer. Once again, the devil was barred from entering and disappeared.

I shudder to think what would have happened to the child had she gone unnoticed. Even without Satan emerging to strike, she would have perished in the harsh snow covered land around our sanctuary.

The poor girl is convinced that she is a danger to us and so ran in an attempt to protect us. Her nightmares, brought on by the trauma that she has endured, have affected her terribly. This has been worsened by KnitWolf’s sadistic attempts at weakening her faith and by others who have been deceived by that demon husk.

We are safe here in this holy place, where the devil and his servants dare not enter. We remain strong in our faith. I thank the Lord and Saint Michael for lending us their strength

Now I must rest