Thursday, 5 December 2013

I’m Scared

I messed up really bad and now I don’t kno what to do. 

I was yelling at KnitWolf on her blog again last night. I know you all warned me but I just wanted to hurt her so bad and I thought we were safe here. I thought that she didn’t know where we were or that she couldn’t get in here if she did. The devil wasn’t able to come in here, so why was she??

I was typing when I heard my door creak open. Then I saw that horrible mask. She grabbed me and covered my mouth before I could do anything. I felt dizzy as everything changed. We were outside on a path in the woods. She grabbed my ear and started to pull me along. I realized where I was. I could feel Satan all around us. I felt like I couldn’t breathe and I fought and screamed, but she was to strong and kept going. I thought she would rip my ear off. We came to the clearing. She suddenly shoved me forward, knocking me down. I landed right next to a corpse. I thought it was a corpse until it moaned.

The smell made my eyes water, and I nearly threwup. How could anyone still be alive like that??  She pulled me back up and shoved me into the cabin and let go. There were three other people standing there, all wearing masks and watching me and a knife on the table next to me. One of them started to tell her to stop but he stopped when she gave him a look. That must have been Roy. She asked why I was scared. Since I believe in God and heaven, she thought I would be rejoicing at the thought of being sent there. I told her I wasn’t scared of the devil’s servants and went for the knife. I spun around, ready to defend myself but no one was attacking me. She just laughed at me.

Then someone else came into the room.
It was Peter

He got between me and KnitWolf. I couldn’t do anything. I froze up. I tried talking to him but he wouldn’t respond. She laughed and told me that if they were all servants of the devil then, as a servant of God, I should kill them all, including Peter.

I hated it but she was right. We are supposed to be ready to fight the devil, whatever form he takes and whoever he works thru. Peter suddenly started to cry. He asked me if he was going to go to Hell and begged me not to hurt him.

I couldn’t do it. I started to cry to. I couldn’t take anymore and I shoved him out of the way and stabbed her. I screamed at her that she was heartless and that she would burn forever and that she was a bitch of Satan! She didn’t react. I kno she can still feel, why didn’t she react?
Then these black things came out of the cuts and grabbed my arm. One of them stuck into my wrist. I screamed and dropped the knife.

She asked what the matter was. She told me to pray and to ask God to save me. I told her that God didn’t work that way. She let me go and asked why I thought I was there. Was it because I was being tested or was it because my faith wasn’t strong enough? I told her it was because she was crazy and brought me there. She slapped my face and told me to hold myself to the same standard as I held others. These were the reasons that I had given for other people’s suffering, so if God didn’t protect me from being taken, then it had to be one of those. She said that by my standard, if I was being tested, then she was doing God’s work. If my faith wasn’t strong enough, then it was my own fault. I told her I didn’t know.

She told Fell to put my hands on the table and Fell did it. KnitWolf left and came back with a little stick. She said that she would bring me back home soon, but not without one other lesson. She said that I had been very rude to her and others. She brought the stick down on my hands as she told me that this was what happened to children who lacked manners. I cried, because it hurt but mostly because I was scared and angry.  She told me to think about what I had done and learn from it. I got one last look at Peter, who was acting like a zombie again before she brought me back here. I tried to tell the others after she left, but no one is listening. They don’t believe me that any of Satan’s servants could get in here say that I must have been dreaming. The only mark that I have as proof is the spot on my wrist, but it just looks like a bug bite. It hurts and it feels like it is getting worse.

God, I’m sorry for everything bad I’ve ever done. I’m sorry I wasn’t strong enough. Please forgive me and protect the others. Please God.   



  1. From one teenage runner to another: you need to RUN. Take a cross, a Bible, whatever will give you comfort, and get the fuck out of there and never go back. If it isn't safe there, don't fucking stay. Don't trust anyone and just make a dash for it babe, because as we approach the solstice it's going to get worse before it gets better.

    1. I can’t. Were to isolated. If I leave through the forest I’l die. I’l freeze or Satan will kill me

      I could maybe take the boat but then everyone else would be stuck. I don’t want to leave them stuck. I don’t want to leave. There my family. But it’s my fault that knitwolf came here. Maybe I should try the forest. Maybe the others will be safer without me

    2. What do you expect her to do? Leave this haven to go wandering in the freezing forest? Young Laura is safe here. She is just a child who has been through and lost much. It is understandable that she would confuse nightmares for reality

    3. no, she's right. reality IS a nightmare.. a nightmare that only stops when I go to sleep.....

    4. You are another child who has suffered terribly. I am sorry for all that you have been made to endure. I will pray for you