We both knew

that things were getting worse with Fell. We could hear her drunkenly mumbling to herself and crying in her room when she made that post. When Hart heard a crash he tried to get in to help but she wouldn’t let him. He typed a few things to her and then told me to hide in his room because he was going to try to make her mad enough to come out and fight and he didn’t want me getting involved.

So I did as he said. His room was the complete opposite of how he keeps the rest of the cabin. It was a mess and there was glass on the floor from a broken mirror. I was scared but I stayed quiet, listening in case things got worse. I felt Stitch come out and start to wrap around me like a blanket. It freaked me out even worse at first but I soon got the impression that it was just trying to comfort me and in spite of myself I did start to feel a bit better with it there. I know I’m too old to be needing a security blanket but it still felt good. I must have actually started to drift off because I jolted awake at another series of crashes. I peeked out of the room to see Hart, bleeding on the floor and Fell getting ready to hit him again. He spat blood as he told her that she was a coward, running out on people who care about her just like Josh. Fell stumbled back at this. I could hear her hit a wall then slide down. Hart sat up, glaring at her but then he started to cry. Stitch went back as I came out of the room and I asked if there was anything I could do to help. When he realized I was there he quickly dried his eyes like he was trying to hide that he was upset and told me he was fine. He struggled to his feet then checked Fell who was passed out. Then he told me to go back to bed but I wouldn’t. I didn’t want to leave him like that, so after he cleaned himself up, he got me to help him get rid of Fell’s stash of alcohol and clean up her room. Hart’s room was a mess but Fell’s room was… weird. Aside from the stuff that she had apparently knocked over, and the blankets on the floor where she had been sleeping, the room had a layer of dust on it like it hadn’t been used in a while. We changed the sheets on her bed and dusted the rest of the room. Then I helped Hart put her to bed. Afterwards he said I should go to bed too but I said no. I wanted to stay with him to make sure he was okay. So we sat on the couch together for a while, neither saying anything until I asked for a hug. I just thought he could use one but I didn’t think he would accept if I said as much.

Fell has since come out of her room, but she won’t look at or talk to either of us.  

Every time

I fall asleep I still have nightmares about that night- that ugly creature coming through Father Brien and how awful it felt. I see their horrible bleeding eyes and I wake up with hymns in my head and I hate it. I used to love those songs but they make me feel sick now. My head hurts and it’s not helping that Fell and Hart keep fighting. Fell looks really sick and only leaves her room to do her job or get supplies. Hart looks tired.

I’m still trying to figure out what to do. Part of me says I should leave the next time we head out for supplies. I know Fell only sees Father Brien and the others when she looks at me. Maybe it’s for the best. But on the other hand, Stitch says I’m where I need to be right now. It’s quieter here. Happier. I don’t know if I should listen to it but it wasn’t lying to me before and it is nice to have that little bit of peace in my head.

Hart is training me while I’m here which is making me feel useful and keeps me from replaying what happened with Father Brien and the others in my mind while I’m awake. I keep thinking that I should have yelled and screamed and kicked every time my parents tried to bring me to that church, maybe then they would have given up and we could have gone to another one at least, maybe avoid all this. They can’t all be like this but maybe they are. If not then maybe I could have convinced Lacey. Or after Stitch started talking to me I should have grabbed some of the others and dragged them out. Save someone at least. Stitch says they couldn’t be saved. Stitch says it wasn’t my fault what happened to them. Stitch is being nice. Hart is being nice. Father Brien was being nice up until he locked me away and tried to kill me- I know I would have died if KnitWolf hadn’t been there - and he was like a father to me after he got my family killed. No maybe that’s wrong. I believed the lie too but I was wrong, so maybe it was the same for him.